Chapter Seven- Mother- A Godly Title and Role

“Mother” is a Godly term to describe the divine role of women. Her work is a central part of God the Father’s plan. His objective is for His spirit children is to come to earth, have experiences of themselves, learn to use agency and choose well, and return to Him. A woman’s opportunity is to bear the little bodies of children and then nurture them so that each of God's spirit children has an opportunity to work His plan for themselves with a body and a test. (1)            

Woman are to care for, nurture, teach, train, develop, enable, guide, succor, discipline, lift, and love their children. They are to be at the crossroads, be available, be close, and help children past the dangers of mortality. They are to lead children and others back to God-- be saviors of human souls. Mothers enrich, protect and guard the home so that it is a laboratory, a refuge, a schoolhouse, a seminary. They are workers in the family trench with predictable consistency. Women are ministers to all of God's children-- they have been given the errand of angels (2) and they literally “mother the world”.  

A Woman is a Covenant Keeper 

Foundational to a woman being able to do the work of God, is her own spiritual aptitude. She is best prepared when she, herself, has become a spiritually powerful individual.

This development and readiness begin as she enters the waters of baptism and makes promises to bear, mourn, lift, and comfort for the rest of her life. She promises to stand as a witness of Christ and bear His name. (3) Imperative to her ability to mother are the promises of her Confirmation. In that ordinance, she is promised the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. (4) As taught in the first chapters of this book, God the Father will amplify her and make her more than she is through the Spirit.

Through baptism, a woman receives a remission of sin, through confirmation she begins the journey of sanctification. The weekly ordinance of the Sacrament means the perpetual renewal of her promises and a continual cleansing through repentance. (5) The ordinances and covenants of the temple further transform her by preparing her for exaltation through obedience, consecration, and righteousness. The obligations and promises of these ordinances and covenants bind her to the path, show her the way, and strengthen her in her earthly and heavenly obligations. (6)

A lifetime of covenant-making and keeping makes a woman into a woman of God. It also makes her a valuable, useful instrument in the hands of God. A striving, righteous woman is a positive peculiarity when compared with women of the world.

Former General Relief Society President, Margaret Nadauld spoke about women of goodness. “When you observe kind and gentle mothers in action, you see women of great strength. Their families can feel a spirit of love and respect and safety when they are near her as she seeks the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of His Spirit. They are blessed by her wisdom and good judgment.” (7) Clothed in righteousness and with the Holy Ghost as an enabler and guide, a woman can participate with honor in the beautiful lifework that God has entrusted to her. 

A Woman is a Creator

It is not a small thing, but instead, a heavenly phenomenon that a woman can prepare a little body right inside of her own. President Nelson, a medical doctor with an awe for the complexity of the human body, taught that it is an absolute miracle that women can build and organize the bodies of mankind. (8) 

A little baby draws from the mother’s strength and is nourished by her very being for 40 weeks in the womb. In a literal way, she gives herself, her comfort, her energy, her lifeblood to preparing life for another. This marvel may have become commonplace and we may take for granted a little bit what a woman’s body can do, but it is far from ordinary. It is a wonder!

President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., defined a woman’s role in the eternal perspective. Speaking of Eve, he speaks about all women: “So came Eve…to be a creator of bodies…that God’s design and the great plan might meet fruition. This was her calling…the greatest glory of true womanhood has been motherhood. What a miracle is motherhood; how nearly infinite is mother. She fashions in her womb the most complex structure known to man…But the full glory of motherhood is not yet reached when her child comes forth into this world of trial…She feeds not only, but clothes it. She cares for it by day and watches over it by night…She gently leads its faltering steps, till it walks alone. Thus to the full stature of manhood and womanhood, mother guides…instructs, directs…the soul for which she built the earthly home, in its march onward to exaltation. God gives the soul its destiny, but mother leads it along the way. When the souls shall return to the presence of the Father of all, the worthy mothers will be there to welcome their worthy children.” (9)

Recently, I visited Kirtland, Ohio for the very first time. A highlight was a peaceful, early morning visit to the cemetery that lies adjacent to the Temple. Something about those headstones lying in the literal shadows of that House of the Lord made the sacrifices and courage of those early Saints more profound to me.

One of the headstones that I recognized belonged to Thankful Halsey Pratt, wife of Elder Parley P. Pratt. I have long admired Thankful for her personal strength of character and conversion that gave her the courage to support Parley in his religious propensities. She backed his decision to sell their farm and go in search of truth. She was baptized in 1830 after Parley had been introduced to the Book of Mormon while the Church was in its infancy. She was chased from Jackson County, Missouri by a mob while she accompanied her husband there on Church business. (10) And she endured faithfully the trials that the Kirtland Saints bore.

For years, Sister Pratt had been in feeble health and had not been able to have children. (11) This, despite prophecy and promise that she would bear a child. In 1837, Parley and Thankful must have been delighted when, after ten years of marriage, the couple was expecting a new baby.           

Parley recorded that a few days before the birth of the child, Thankful had a vision while sitting in her room. The vision “intimated to (Thankful) that she should have the privilege of departing from this world of sorrow and pain, and of going to the paradise of rest as soon as she had fulfilled the prophecy in relation to the promised son.” Several days later the child was born. As soon as the new baby boy was dressed and Thankful had looked upon him and embraced him, she passed away. Brother Pratt wrote, “My dear wife had…lived to accomplish her destiny.” (12)

I had had such a sacred, little moment at Thankful’s grave that quiet, beautiful morning, and I understood better why after learning some of the details of her death in childbirth. Even with all of the good that she had done in her life, Thankful Pratt’s “destiny” had been the process of creating a body for that little, baby boy. She was released from this life as soon as she had accomplished that brave, miraculous thing. I had a lump in my throat that morning and little tears that I could not stop from flowing. A woman’s privilege to be a creator is such a profound trust.

One afternoon I was working on transferring my notes from April 2017 General Conference and I came upon Elder S. Mark Palmer’s talk "Then Jesus Beholding Him, Loved Him". (14) I was reading about the rich man, his visit to the Savior, the counsel to sell all that he worshiped and come to Christ. I was thinking about the rich man's discouraged-spirit wondering if he could do as he was asked, showing weakness, then Christ's compassionate, loving reaction-- "Then Jesus beholding him, loved him..."

In the midst of reviewing this talk, I felt like it was time to check in on my five quiet boys. I climbed the stairs and peeked into a room where the door was slightly ajar. Inside the room was one of my children all curled up in a cozy ball, having a little nap. This little fellow, who had been recently struggling in his life, looked so peaceful and so at rest. An unexpected, unsolicited crush of love filled my whole self. It was just as Elder Palmer and Jesus Christ had said, "beholding him", my heart burst. My eyes welled up with moisture. I got that pesky frog in my throat. Wow. I loved that boy so much! I remembered Elder Palmer saying in his talk, "As we learn to see others as the Lord see them rather than with our own eyes, our love for them will grow and so will our desire to help them". I felt like I got a little taste of how precious this boy was and I knew that those were feelings had come from our Heavenly Father.

To give birth is to assist a spirit child of God in taking another step along the path to perfection through the physical body. A woman can craft that body inside of her own. That process gifts the woman with an endowment of deep, enduring love that is the nearest thing to charity I have ever felt. It is a little taste of the kind of love that Christ had when He gave Himself for our salvation. It is soul-deep, never fails, quickly forgives, is patient and long-suffering, sees potential that others can’t see, is willing to bear and endure, and never gives up hope. (13) It comes from somewhere beyond the mother and I have been personally aware that I did not produce it of myself. Sometimes it hurts in the center of my being because I care so much.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke tenderly of a mother’s work as “a type” of the work of Christ. He said that we talk of Christ’s Atonement with the words, “bear and borne, carry and lift, labor and deliver”. Then Elder Holland asked, “Can you hear in this language another arena of human endeavor in which we use (the same) words? As Jesus said to John while in the very act of Atonement, so He says to us all, ‘Behold thy mother!’…No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love (that) a devoted mother has for her child." (15)

Mothers Teach Agency and Prepare Children for Ordinances

One of the reasons that mothering is a 24-hour a day adventure is because a mother is standing nearby as a tutor, advisor, and coach while children learn how to do almost everything. I remember when I had my first little baby I was surprised to have to show him each little task and motion—how to wrap his chubby hand around a rattle and shake it, how to push a block through a hole, how to open his mouth to accept smashed sweet potatoes. Just because children grow up in stature, doesn’t change that they are still gathering information, learning how to accomplish tasks, and developing in all aspects of their lives. They are still having experiences for the very first time. A mother is there at the crossroads to demonstrate, encourage and cheer, teach, correct, and reclaim.

Brigham Young once called mothers “the moving instruments in the hands of Providence” and “the machinery that gives zest to…and guides the destinies and lives of (mankind).” (16) I think that what President Young was saying is that a mother is the earthly hands of heaven bringing energetic guidance to her children. That guidance is necessary for all things temporal and spiritual. She teaches and reteaches in academic learning, practical skills, interpersonal relationships, use of agency, citizenship, character development, and spiritual growth. It is a tremendous responsibility and a sacred trust.

The most important and unique contribution that a mother can make to her children is to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ. They need to be shown how to trust in a Supreme Being and how to have faith in Him. They need to be guided on how to repent as they are learning to use their God-given free agency. They must be led to and prepared for ordinances like baptism, confirmation, the Sacrament, and the temple. Children can be mentored on how to make promises with Deity, how to live commandments, and to cherish covenants.

Mary Pratt Parrish, author, and granddaughter of Parley Pratt, wrote a beautiful article calling mothers, “Guardians of the Covenants”. She said, “As a protection against this danger, the Lord committed into the hands of the mothers in Israel the responsibility of keeping the fires of faith alive and bright in the hearts of their children. These mothers in Israel are the guardians of the covenant.” (17)

I remember a time when I was a full-time missionary and we were busy with several families who were learning the gospel and working their way towards making covenants. Of course, this kind of curiosity and commitment from investigators makes the adversary twitch. He was active in distraction and our people felt fragile to us. One day my companion and I went from one doorstep to the next, visiting our people. We felt like we had a sword and shield in hand. We’d knock on the door and in those porch-visits, we would answer concerns, field questions, encourage courage, bear testimony and invite the Holy Ghost to the gathering. Then with figurative battle gear in hand, we would go to the next home and repeat the crusade. Mothering feels very similar to that experience. With spiritual weaponry in hand,  a mother lifts, teaches and protects her children.

A Woman is a Nurturer with a Motherheart 

The Family Proclamation says that mothers are “primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” (18) After gifting a child a little body through birth, mothers spend the rest of their mortal lives leading those children back to God. She nurtures.

Women are equipped with what they need to accomplish this beautiful, important job. In 2004, Sister Julie B. Beck, former General Relief Society President, introduced the word, “motherheart” to the church and explained that “as spirit daughters, women received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared (premortally) to come forth and be mothers/ (nurturers). Women came to earth with abilities, and gifts, and talents that had been carefully polished.” (19)

I love this description of the soft, squishy, loving feelings that beat inside a women’s chest. I remember the day that Sister Beck put that word into my vocabulary. This because I knew well the instinctual desire to love, comfort and care for children. My little boys occupied my soul and energies, and I felt so grateful for a name to place on the sensitivities of my heart. The talents and gifts of nurturing include sympathy, compassion, selflessness, tenderness of heart, and kindness. President Joseph Fielding Smith said that armed with these characteristics women have been given the assignment by God, to mother. “The Lord looks upon (women) and gives unto them the duties and responsibilities of being ministers to the needy and to the afflicted.” (20) 

A mother nurtures children their whole lives long. She holds her babies close, in a little infant-bundle, and starts them down a path. She creates a home environment where the Spirit can dwell. She washes their little feet and hands and faces so that children can love being clean. She sits toddlers on her lap and folds their arms quietly for the Sacrament prayers. She escorts them to Primary where they learn songs about the Savior. She teaches them of the world and God's glorious creations. She frequently reminds them of their Divine parentage, their worth, and potential, and that they are deeply loved by their Heavenly Father. She feeds them. She teaches them to pray. She works at modeling for them the characteristics of the Godly-- patience, compassion, love, and long-suffering. She encourages them to love and forgive. She urges them to make promises and covenants and to keep them. She cheers and applauds them on the ball field, in the marching band, and in decisions that bring them closer to God. She supports them and teaches them to repent when they have fallen short. And since we are all frail, that last one, "teach them to repent", is certainly the most important of all.

Nurturing is full-time work. Quality time is born of quantity time. In a very real way, a mother’s job is to be “hanging around” waiting to be actively needed. Milling and vigilantly watching for crisis, emotion, interpersonal tangles, a teachable heart, a humble disposition, oversight needs, correction, and for just the right time to show love and praise. A mother can't schedule that stuff. She can't predict it or anticipate it. She can help because she is there. Because she is staring into the whites of her child’s eyes-- listening, teaching, empathizing, laughing, playing, and building. Those are moments when a mother knows that she has created mothering magic.

This kind of constancy is was what President Ezra Taft Benson meant when he advised mothers, "Be at the crossroads...always be at (there) when your children are either coming or going--when they leave and return--when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen." (21)

While a mother is standing by and on-call for such moments, she nurtures temporally. Mothers nurture by preparing meals, taxi-ing, folding socks, weeding the garden, sweeping and mopping. A mother may be posing as a laundress or chef, but she is also lying in wait for the precious moments when she becomes a psychiatrist, counselor, cheerleader, nurse, teacher, confidant, advisor, clown, and friend. These are the times when mothers can, in very real ways, save. Sister Sheri Dew said this, “Our Father has entrusted us as women with His children, and He has asked us to love them and help lead them safely past the dangers of mortality back home." (22)

Back in the 1970’s, Relief Society included an occasional lesson on the arts called, "Cultural Refinement". At one of those lessons, my Mom tried her hand at writing a Haiku. This was her poem:

little boy on loan
how long, I do not know
slow down speeding days

You see, my younger brother, Michael, was battling a serious congenital heart defect that would eventually take his life. My mom knew that with Michael, time was a precious commodity. In her poem, she begged that the passage of days and hours and minutes would tick by very slowly. She knew that this son was a “boy on loan.”

I have thought long on the idea that our children are “on loan”. This phrase sounds like a banking analogy and its applicable appeals to me. All credible lenders have expectations for the one to whom he grants custody. It is a trust. And for it to be a good investment, the lender wants a return on his asset. In the case of children, God is the lender, and mothers are the primary custodian and curator and developer. Elder H. Burke Peterson once quoted the song “To a Child”, “Children are not a gift to us, but a precious loan, a priceless loan to be returned-- returned more valuable than when we received them. Understanding more, better prepared to return to Him who lent them to us.” (23)

This is a concept that Susannah Wesley understood. She was the mother of nineteen children, one of whom was the great Reformer and founder of the Methodist Church, John Wesley. She felt it was her divine charge to consecrate "above twenty years of the prime of life" to the rearing of kids. To what end? "In hopes of saving the souls of (my) children."    

She continued, “I...look upon every soul (left) under my care as a ‘talent’ committed to me under a trust, (from) the Lord of all the families of heaven and earth. And if I am unfaithful to Him...in neglecting to improve these ‘talents’, how shall I answer unto Him when he shall command me to render an account of my stewardships.” (24) Susannah Wesley asks a salient question. How can a woman answer to Him if she has not given the children of her charge her all? Her everything. Her best. Her mind. Her heart. Her time. 

All Women are Mothers 

All sisters share the responsibility to nurture, or “mother.” Elder M. Russell Ballard taught: “There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life-changing as the influence of a righteous woman…All women have within their divine nature both the inherent talent and the stewardship to mother.” (25) This “talent” for mothering is there whether the woman has borne children of her own or not. And the stewardship, or responsibility, for nurturing the human race belongs to all women.           

Sister Sheri Dew clarified that point, “The word motherhood defines women’s eternal roles; it describes their nature as nurturers...While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve ‘the mother of all living’—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born…women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” (26)           

Former Relief Society General President, Julie B. Beck taught that to be a mother to all is not a responsibility that is negotiable, but it is a covenanted responsibility. She said that we should say to ourselves often, “I am responsible for the hearts and souls of Heavenly Father's children.” (27) Women were made for this ministry to all of the children to whom one has influence—children of God born to you, or bequeathed.

Women Create Homes that are Refuges 

Recently Greg and I took a trip to Rome and spent the morning at the Roman Forum, which is an ancient site filled with excavated temples to the Roman gods and goddesses. It was astounding to see such marvelous structures that were built while Julius Caesar and Augustus were on the earth. I was especially interested in the grand, tall pillars and ornate, rock carvings of the temple of Vesta. Even though Mythology isn’t always a very good source for teaching heavenly principles, there was a fictional comparison there that really spoke to me.           

Vesta was not married, but took care of her brother, Jupiter’s, home and hearth. She was identified with domestic life but, more importantly, with domestic tranquility. The hearth fire in the home of the ancient Romans was not only essential for cooking food and heating water, but it also served as the gathering place for the family. Vesta tended the hearth and welcomed people to its warmth and productivity. Vesta was also the protectress of Rome. She cared for and maintained the homes of each of its citizens. (28)

I have heard Sister Sharon Eubank, of the General Relief Society presidency, talk about her admiration for the role of this mythical woman. “(Vesta) is a very interesting goddess…she is in charge of all family relationships. And her symbol is the fire on the hearth and it symbolizes life and she is guarding that life. And she’s also the patron goddess of civilization. She’s the mother of Rome. And so her role is to connect all family relationships into a family unity and a local unity and a community and a civilization. So her work is all about weaving things together. And I think that that’s a nice symbolic representation of the role of women.” (29)

Vesta is a good type or symbol of the work of women and mothers. At the center of the home and family and society, there is a guardian. Someone that is protecting the hearth, "guarding" and "connecting" and "weaving together" the family and civilization. That is a role of woman! President Gordon B. Hinckley said as much, “You (women) are the guardians of the hearth.” (30) More and more in these last days, home needs a champion: a protectress.

 A home with an intentional, tender mother inside it is a “safe place” for all who enter. All that mothers do has purpose-- clean sheets, puffy beds, folded clothes, warm dinners, homemade treats, and tidy surroundings coupled with smiles, acceptance, kindness, discipline, cheerleading, patience, and love. It all beckons. Sister Julie B. Beck taught that women should feel the obligation and the privilege of building a home this is a sacred sanctuary. “Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world.” (31)

Families enter the world to go to school and work, and they find that society is bubbling and boiling. They need a place of safety in which to return. Sister Barbara Winder once observed this need, “For ourselves and for our families, it is important that there is a sanctuary—a place of refuge away from the world where we feel comfortable and where, if others come, they, too, can feel comfortable.”(32) President Nelson has said, “When her (family) returns (home) from a day marred by the world’s rude realities, a loving woman can say, ‘Come unto me. I will give you rest.’ Wherever she is becomes become a sanctified place, safe from the storms of life. Refuge is there because of her ability to nurture and to love unconditionally.” (33) Men need the peace of home. Children need the rest. Women need a haven. President Kimball said that “God has placed women at the very headwaters of the human stream.” (34) What she says and does, and the tone she sets trickles down the through the whole family.

While Greg and I were on Prince Edward Island recently, we happened onto a little fishing village named, North Rustico. The city was right against the ferocious waves and winds of the Gulf of Saint Lawrence and the water pressed hard against the red sandstone shores. The tiny homes were beaten and bruised from sea breeze, but there was industry and pride in the village. Their lobster traps were neatly stacked. The buoys were nicely piled. It was a lovely, idyllic place.

It was getting dusk and dark, and thick fog was settling in when we walked out onto a breezeway and looked back on North Rustico from the sea. Standing in the middle of those noisy, crashing, churning waves, one thing stood out-- in the center of the town at the ocean's edge was the North Rustico Lighthouse. Its turning head was bright and seemed to be searching.           

Now, I had been admiring lighthouses for several days as Greg and I had driven north from Portland Maine, but this was the first time where it occurred to me that lighthouses do more than help folks avoid dangerous rocks and cliffs. This North Rustico beacon seemed to be calling. This light seemed to be beckoning folks to leave the ocean's indignation and return to safety. Its bright light wouldn’t allow the searcher at sea to miss the village amidst the boundless dark water of an ocean's night sky. It was lighting the way through dark and fog and endless waves to loving hearth.

The world is churning like that ocean. There is a constant press and an exhausting flurry of ideas and pull. There are waves and winds that cause grief and fear. There are enticements that lead out into the roar of the ocean. For me, that North Rustico Village symbolized the invaluable work of women. Heaven-blessed with feminine qualities of love and compassion, with squishy hearts, and the ability to nurture, women create a refuge. A place of order from chaos. A homecoming of warmth and safe-haven. Like that lighthouse, women call their families out of the waves and back to where there is love, kindness, and peace.

President Spencer W. Kimball made this observation about women who mother during difficult times of societal unrest: “To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.” (35)

With this weighty responsibility, women are not charged with carrying out the duties and functions of providing family resources. Nor are they burdened with Church administration so that they can focus on children and home-building. (36) 

A Woman’s Far-Reaching Influence 

It is a very restless world we live in. Societal philosophy has blanketed women with questions about their worth, has stripped away traditional roles, and throw women into a game of comparison and a search for “equality”. They have been told to be discontented and to collectively seek for powerful and visible ways to influence. With all of these unsettling messages, a woman could wonder and question whether mothering, one by one, to a very small audience, is where she can make her life's greatest contribution.

Thank heavens for Sister Julie B. Beck who once pointed out, “I think sometimes people confuse stardom with influence." (37) The word “stardom” might be replaced by “visibility” or societal power with influence. A woman might believe that in order to have sway and affect in this world, she needs to be out in front, loud, picketing, leading a crowd, speaking from a pulpit with a large audience, rocking a board room, running a business, or getting awards and raises.  But Sister Beck said that influence isn't always connected to visibility or "stardom".

A mother marches along quietly and usually without accolades and fanfare. But don't mistake that for lack of influence. President Joseph F. Smith once explained, “(children) drink into the spirit of their mothers, and the influence of the mother over the children is the most enduring impression that can be made. There is nothing so imperishable as the influence of the mother.” (38)

Sometimes it may be a little hard for a woman to see her own significance, which makes mothering a work faith-based, but children love and trust and quote their mothers. The things that mothers teach and say and do shape the lens by which children see themselves and how they see the world. Every president and king, plumber, and architect has a mother. Every single, big something is done by someone's well-cared-for, enabled, loved, grown-up, little child.

A woman's influence may start with just one little person, but it grows and spreads exponentially. President Joseph F. Smith said, "The...influence (of) a good mother...is like leaven cast into the measure of meal, that will leaven the whole lump...her influence extends, not only her own children but to the associates of her children. You do not know how far your influence extends. A mother...sows the seeds...and wherever that boy or girl goes, in whatever society they mingle, the good effects of...that mother will be felt." (39)

Kneeling at the bedside of my boys in the late evening is one of my very favorite places to be. Tucked in their blankets, they are spongy and smart, teachable, and cute. Over the years we have read a whole library full of books out loud. Near President's Day I have pulled out an old $1.48 copy of Abraham Lincoln: President for the People by Larry Weinberg. I love Mr. Weinberg's writing about Abe's childhood.

Abe and his sister were the third generation of Lincolns who lived quite primitively in the forests of Kentucky and then Indiana. The Lincoln cabin, which had a dirt floor and drafty spaces in between the logs, was their frontier home. Abe was nine years old when his mother died of milk disease. His father, Tom, was sad. After the harvest was over, Tom left the kids in the custody of a seventeen-year-old orphan boy, and without explanation, headed through the woods. The children, aged nine and eleven, foraged for food and lived lean for weeks and weeks as winter set in. When Tom returned in December, he brought a new mother and three new siblings.

The author described the first meeting of the new family, “The youngsters standing in front of the new Mrs. Lincoln were filthy. But she opened her heart to them at once and took them into her arms as if they were her own. Like her own children, they were soon well-scrubbed, well-fed, and wearing clean clothes...But Mrs. Lincoln cared about much more...Sarah saw Abe's curiosity and desire to learn and (gave him opportunities at education), and also enough confidence in himself to last him all his life. Even when he became a famous politician (He said), ‘All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.’”

This sweet little boy needed an advocate, a cheerleader, a director, a nurturer, stability and an opportunity. This, so that he could blossom into the man of faith, strength, brilliance, and distinction that became the Abraham Lincoln that we, generations later, are still so incredibly thankful. 

I call this “The Sarah Lincoln Effect.” Her stewardship was, first, a boy of hidden promise, and then a fine man and community lawyer. Eventually, her charge was a President of an unsettled, divided America. Her “fruit” is the nation we live in today. She created the possibility for this man, and we all sit indebted to this almost anonymous woman, who cared about a filthy, hungry little boy. Who helped him read and gave him the opportunity of an education. Who loved him, taught him, cared for him, and believed in him. That is influence that is known to almost no one but the God of Heaven, but He must be so very grateful for Mrs. Sarah Lincoln.

A terrible modern-day miss is in not seeing that a woman's greatest power to influence comes from within family relationships. After gifting a child a little body that will be theirs forever, mothers spend the rest of their mortal lives creating a home and leading those children back to God. This heavenly effort is worth all of a woman's resources because the time, talent and energy spent therein goes forward into eternity. A child is an investment in something that is completely unbound by the world. Mothering is influence that never ends.